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All My Confusion

2007-05-10

Fifteen days and now word.  Oh, how it feels like an eternity.  Shouldn't it be getting easier?   Each day feels more difficult than the last.  I try to remember.  What am I trying to remember?  It was music, and I cannot remember.  A pure melody, and it is lost.  Sunshine that, now, produces no warmth.  Air that I can no longer breathe.  My heart, it's broken.  Pain seeps from within me, but never runs dry.  My love lives on and on.  Dishonesty, once my master, has betrayed me and taken another.  What for, the sweet lies that captured my faith and desire?  In the face of truth they have become transparent.  My faith, with nothing to hold it, drops to the earth and becomes dust.  I desire nothing more than solitude.  To be nothing, to have nothing, to want nothing.  I am perfect in my loneliness, as I am perfect in my love.  I am the author of my drama, and a willing, yet humble participant.  When the rain pours down upon my nakedness it will leave behind a portrait of a perfect love affair.  The eternal affair I have with my self.

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